Hello, All!

So much has been accomplished in the past few days, but we are not going to make the 12/27 move date as planned. It does appear now that Sunday, January 2, 2011 will be when we move dad home.

If you scroll down to my last posting, you can see where there were only posts in the ground to create the walkway from the new drive to the deck. Yesterday the walkway was completed. Here you can see the men working. The pond is just beyond the deck. Using the site level, Sgt. Fieck learned that there was only a 2 foot difference in height from the drive to the deck, so there doesn't hardly seem to be any grade(slant) at all with the walk way. You can see the cement pad that was poured where dad will have a flat area to get out of a car and into his wheelchair. The walkway has rails up on the sides now as well; I just didn't get a picture of that.

This is a picture of the walkway from the deck. On the bottom left of the picture is another walkway that will be put back in place that comes off the stairs for other visitors.

We got the living room painted a nice green color. Those ceilings are 12 feet tall, I think. I was on an extension ladder for an entire day to do the trim. The bathroom and bedroom are both a tan color. I have a couple of places to touch up, but for the most part, I think it turned out quite nicely. There is also carpet now. The carpet layer came on Tuesday; I expected him on Thursday, so I had to do a little juggling with work, but it all was fine.

This is a picture of Joe working on the driveway. It has turned out quite nicely as well.

All of the medical equipment was delivered yesterday. We have a hospital bed, air mattress (helps prevent bed sores) two lifts -- one for him to use if he has to, and one to use in case he gets too weak or if he falls and isn't hurt and just needs help getting up. We also have a shower bench. Grab bars are all over in the bathroom where needed.

His caregiver had to give two weeks notice, and so she won't be ready until 1/2/11. It's probably best this way as we (okay I) was really pushing to get him in by 12/27 anyway. A few more days will be a good thing for those of us getting everything ready. It will all work out, and we have a date. There is still work to be done, but mostly inside. We have to move some clothes around to make room for the caregivers' things in her room. There is still some furniture to put in place, and someone has to figure out how to get the TV, VCR, DVD, and etc all hooked up so it works. :) Maybe I can have my 15- and 10-yr-old daughters do that. They are usually better at that kind of thing than I.

Stay tuned... there will be more updates as we finish everything and get dad moved home.

December 15, 2010

Hello, All!! I have changed e-mail lists, and I fear some have been left off. In case you didn't get an e-mail recently, this is what was sent out yesterday:

Well, the soldiers, and Alan and I have worked for every weekend for the past 2 ½ months. (Sgt. Joe Fieck made this happen. He did most of the work and was faithful to be there when no one else came with him. Also, Alan has shouldered a LOT of this; I could not have done this without him!) We’re exhausted! (and SO ready for this to be finished) J It has been quite a project, and (sadly) we are not quite finished yet, and now I need your help!

With Christmas being so close, Sgt. Fieck has holiday plans this weekend and cannot work. He said there are 2 others who might be able to come; he wasn’t sure. Sgt. Fieck said he would plan to be there again on 12/23, 23, and 26. BUT I told Bogey I thought we could move the day (or so) after Christmas. So we are going to try to get it finished for a move-in date of (I HOPE) Monday, December 27. I would like to move him on a day the soldiers can be there, so possibly on the 26th if I can make it happen. The soldiers have done so much!!

I have just hired someone last minute to finish the drywall this week. He said he can have it finished by Friday – or at the latest Saturday morning. I just talked with the carpet layer, and he thinks he can be there on Tuesday 12/21; he might push it to the 22nd.

I have ordered the medical equipment and will finalize what we need this week. I have hired caregivers who are just waiting for me to tell them a start date.

What we need done this weekend:
· We need people outside building the walkway. The posts are set, and plans are made.
· We need people to help get furniture all out of the way (to the deck or to the garage) so we can finish ripping out carpet in the kitchen, and so we can be ready for the new carpet next week.
· We need to paint. Dad has picked out paint colors. We need to paint the bathroom (including the ceiling in this room), bedroom, and living room.
· We need to lay tile in the bathroom and finish the plumbing in there.
· We need to clean well and prepare the upstairs room for a caregiver. (Though, I might not be able to do this until the carpet is in.)

If you don’t already have plans and can help, please come! We will be there Saturday morning (usually around 8:30-ish) and then we’ll be back on Sunday as well, I’m sure. I know a lot of you likely have Christmas plans already in place, though. It is very close to the holidays, I know, so if you can’t make it, that’s all okay, too.

Thank you so much for your support through this crazy project. I know I have seen a difference in Dad’s demeanor over the past months. I can’t wait to get him home and see his moods and outlook on life improve even more.

Thank you!
~Rhonda

December 12

It has been awhile since I have posted; honestly, because I have been discouraged about this whole project. Every once in awhile, I have moments when I wonder what in the WORLD am I doing?! This is CRAZY, and it has been a LONG time and many weekends that we have been working at dad's house.



Tonight when I called Alan at 9:30 pm, he and the Sgt. were hanging sheet rock. He has been there all day today.



The progress noted in this posting was accomplished last weekend, but Alan left early this past Monday morning for off-site meetings in St. Louis for work. It has been a crazy week without him home, or I would have posted earlier. He got home just last night about 11:30 pm, and took today off work to be at Dad's working again. He left this morning about 8:30 am after checking in with his teams at the office who are working on a new release of the company's software. Sgt. Feick joined him around 4:30 pm this evening. It has been an incredibly busy week without him home. (Yes, I already mentioned that, but it warrants repeating :) ). Today I stayed at work and was here to get Malerie from school and then take her to her basketball game in Springfield. She has another one tomorrow afternoon, and Allison has a choir concert Sunday afternoon. I'm being the taxi-mom this weekend; plus I'm working on a final project for the class I'm taking.


Progress made last week was wonderful! This picture is of the posts set that will support the walk way for dad to get to the deck from the parking place we have created. In the picture, Alan is working with the post-hole digger. All of the posts were set last weekend. Tomorrow (Saturday 12/11) they plan to pour the cement pad where dad will get out of a car on a flat surface. The walkway will take him up onto the deck. Sgt. Feick (most often these days known as just Joe now), has done research to know at what slope to make the walkway so it is safe for a wheelchair. We have rented a site level to measure the lay of the land. He is being very careful about how he does his work and to make things safe.




The deck has been finished. They need to fasten in several of the boards, but they have been cut and laid, and the deck looks great. It has been secured back to the house and they are building a cement wall to support it as well.

This is a picture (below) of the inside. The piece of plastic is where stairs go to the 2nd floor. To the right if the new bathroom door, and to the left is the new bedroom door. Both doors will accommodate dad's wheelchair.

There is still much to do, but sheetrock is being hung this weekend. I do not know if any taping and mudding will get done to that. We need to finish the plumbing in the bathroom, but the shower floor has been installed. The rest of the bathroom needs to be finished, and once the sheetrock is hung and finished, I can paint. Once I know when we are going to be able to paint, I will be able to schedule the carpet laying, which will also drive when our moving date is. Once the carpet is laid, we will be able to schedule the equipment pick up and furniture re-moving. I still have a couple of things to order, but we have made good progress with equipment preparations. I have stayed in touch with the care-giver organization where we have hired two care-givers. We are all set with them.

There are still so many things that need to happen, in the right order and at the right time. However, everything continues to fall into place at the right time, and in the right way. I believe it's a God-thing for so many things to try for the label of "coincidence." I do not believe in them. My God is Big.

Tonight I am praying for Alan and Joe who are staying the night at Dad's house. They will start again early in the morning, but Joe has to leave by noon, as tomorrow is his wife's birthday. I have not met her yet, but I thank her as well. Joe has been at dad's every weekend but one since we began this. If it weren't for him, this would never have taken off and would have never happened. How do you thank someone for something like that? I'm trying to figure that out.

More later.... Thank you for your support. :)

November 21, 2010

As I mentioned in a previous post, the retaining wall is finished. This is a look at it as I stood down close to the pond. You might notice a bunch of brush to the left of the tree (in the middle of this shot). This is from the tree we had to take out. Alan continues to work on it, and if anyone wants to join us cutting, splitting, stacking, and hauling wood, please feel free. You can take what you want! We plan to be there again Friday 11/26 and likely Saturday 11/27. We haven't been working on Sundays, but Alan was there again this morning working on the tree issue. (more below)

Alan, both of our girls, Sgt. Feick and Sgt. Young met at dad's at 8:30 am on Saturday morning. The Sgt's worked on the deck (picture below) while Alan, the girls & I worked to clear out the tree. It is amazing to me how much wood is still in the way. Directly below this paragraph is a picture of Sgt. Feick's back. He has his hand on the pier -- the 5x5 post we thought would enable them to jack the deck back up to the house. It didn't work like we thought it would, so they are looking at a Plan B. Sgt. Feick is the person who has really taken ahold of this project to make it happen. He has also gotten his family involved. I was humbled and grateful when I learned Saturday that several members of his family in towns around the US have given money for this renovation. They don't even know dad, and yet they are willing to help. Amazing. Humbling. I am so grateful.

The decking has been taken off the deck in order for them to work on the frame of the deck. Anyone interested in replacing the decking, we will be working on that this weekend as well.

It amazes me how MUCH wood is STILL on the ground. Alan took off work last Wednesday and Thursday and cut and split as much as he could. The picture below was taken after the girls and I had moved and stacked 2 truck-loads to the wood pile (another pict. down). Dad's place is looking different, but it's still in the woods... it's still peaceful; the pond is still there, but it will be handicapped accessible for him. He keeps asking me for a date (to go home); I don't have that yet. We still have much work to do, and I'm trying to be patient. As I've mentioned before, I'm not very good at patient.

Just some notes-- nothing new, really.....

Well, I just got out of class, and there is nothing more I have to do tonight, and it's only 8:00 pm. I'm behind at work, but I don't have so many meetings scheduled for tomorrow, so I can (hopefully) get caught up pretty easily. Tonight, I'll do a bit of laundry and clean the kitchen (some) before I go to bed. I have class on Wednesday nights. After I finish in a few weeks with this one, I have only 4 more left, and then I'm finished with course work. It will be another year, though. I can take only one at a time. (working on a PhD) After course work, I have comps and then the dissertation... a LONG way to go. It has been a crazy night at the Stanton house, as usual: I left work a few minutes early, took Malerie to her violin lesson, went to get Allison from dance practice, talked to Mom and my mother-in-law about Thanksgiving dinners, took Allison to guitar, and then got online for my class from 6:00-7:30. Alan made dinner tonight, which was VERY helpful. He has been sick since last Tuesday, but is feeling better now. He bought a truck in Pennsylvania last week and drove it home on Saturday. Crazy man. :) It is presently up on jack stands as he completes the brake job on it. Says it's the hardest brake job he's ever done.

Now that the project to take dad home is in motion, it's hard to be satisfied with working only on the weekends. I know the soldiers are using their own time, their time off even, but I'm impatient.

This weekend we will be there on Saturday. I hope they will work on the plumbing, but there's a chance that guy who is (was?) going to do that is going to have his house-closing scheduled for Saturday. They are going to work on pulling the deck back up to the house, and I'm ready for them to be hanging sheet rock in the bathroom. The bathroom is still bare. I think we're about ready to ask for help, but it's also deer season. And, while I'm grateful for any help (especially around painting and cleaning time) I really need people right now who have experience with plumbing and hanging sheet rock, but I don't even know if they'll be getting to that this weekend, so I don't want to ask people to come. I will try to learn more this weekend and maybe try to put together something more structured when I ask for others to pitch in.

Dad seems excited. I went to see him last night and he seemed more talkative to me. I ran into one of his CNAs from Parkview at Wal-Mart this week. She is very good to dad and he likes her (no small compliment coming from Bogey). :) She asked me when he was going home, and I explained that I had no idea. (patience, patience) She said she asked him if he was excited, and he said "Yes, and nervous." It will be different for him, for sure. I have been so grateful for the calls and words of encouragement.

I continue to be amazed at what great friends he has.

Thursday 11-11-10 Happy Veteran's Day

I had hoped today would be the day we moved dad home, but the house is not ready yet. As I mentioned in a previous post, the tree was a side-bar project that had to be completed. When I learned the tree was on the ground, I asked if it was going to be in the soldiers' way of working on the deck this weekend. The answer: Oh yeah... it's everywhere. It's a mess.

After I talked to Alan about it, he decided he needed to go check it out, so he dropped everything, left work, packed a bag, and headed for Mansfield. This is the picture he sent me via his cell phone when he arrived. The tree was everywhere. If you look closely, in the bottom left corner of this picture are some of the stairs going down to the deck. The railing is gone.




He worked all the rest of the day Wednesday clearing the small brush out of the way and cutting up the larger branches. He spent the night at Dad's, and worked all day today as well. He used a day of PTO from work.

Later this afternoon when I talked with him, he sent me another picture. He sounded surprised that he had made so much progress. This will make good fire wood next year. Two soldiers are supposed to be at dad's tomorrow to work on the deck and the plumbing.

Thank you, Alan. I couldn't do this "Taking Dad Home" project without you.

The Tree -- Gone 11-10-10

On Saturday, Alan and Sgt. Feick were looking at a very large, close-to-dead tree next to Dad's house. It has been there as long as I can remember and is huge. The trunk splits at the bottom and creates almost 2 trees. At one point, dad had put a strong cable around the tree to hold it together. It had a new split in it, maybe where lighting had struck. Whatever the case, everyone agreed the tree needed to come down. Alan worked all day with the soldiers, and they were able to finish the new retaining wall.

Sunday evening when our family was back together, Alan was telling me that the tree had to come down. We didn't know who to call or where to start. I decided I would call someone at Se-Ma-No on Monday to try to get an idea of what we could do.

Monday morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, which is pretty normal these days with all of the projects going on around dad's house. I don't know how many soldiers at Ft. Wood have my cell number saved in their Contacts list. I have talked to a carpet layer, a pharmacy about equipment, the care-giver organization, and NUMEROUS friends of dad's. This call was from a one of those good friends. She began, "Rhonda, I hope I have not stuck my nose in where it doesn't belong, but I've done something." She had my attention. "Okayyyy....." I answered.

"Well, I was out at the house this past Saturday, just to see what was going on, and I know they were talking about that tree that had to come down, so I made a couple of phone calls, and I've arranged to have that tree taken down this week."

I didn't know what to say. This was going to be my next prayer... and it was going to go something like this: God, I have a huge tree that has to come down and I do not know what to do or who to call next about this. Please show me what to do.

I didn't have to even ask. He was walking in front of me answering prayers before I ever prayed them. I told this very good friend that she was NOT sticking her nose where it didn't belong. She had just been the answer to my next prayer. Now, you might say you believe in coincidence, but I choose not to.

When I got the call this morning that the tree was on the ground, I asked if it was going to be in the way of the soldiers working this weekend. The answer was "oh yeah. It's everywhere."

Alan left work this morning, unplanned, and worked on clearing away the tree all afternoon. He is spending the night there and will try to finish up as much as he can tomorrow. His support through this has been incredible.

Coincidence might have been that there just happened to be a battalion of soldiers at Ft. Wood willing to give up days off, and take days off, and volunteer their time, labor, and expertise to make this renovation happen.

The day before they began working, I still needed a skid steer. I knew what one looked like, but that was as close as I was to getting one to Dad's house. There were 2 people from the care-giver organization who had come to see dad that afternoon. I went out to meet them. I mentioned that the work began tomorrow, but I still needed a skid steer. The women mentioned that she knew the guy who owned Wildcat Rental in Rogersville, maybe he could help. And he did. He actually LOANED us the skid steer for the entire weekend. We have since given him more business. He is a strong supporter of the military.

Later that afternoon, I was disappointed when I learned that Alan's truck wouldn't pull the skid steer. I mentioned this to someone, and she immediately offered her truck for the weekend. We were set.

Evan's Grocery Store in Richland donated a LOT of food for the soldiers to eat that first weekend they worked.

Someone else said they had a lift-chair they no longer needed that we could just HAVE when I mentioned that I still had to get one. Dad's friends started donating money for the renovation. One friend allowed us to purchase supplies at Mansfield Building Supply on his account. He provided all of the materials for the retaining wall. Mansfield Building Supply also gave us discounts on those materials. Carpet was the only thing I didn't have figured out. I asked Mike (at Mansfield Building Supply) if they did carpet. They did. I looked at some samples and pointed out which would likely match dad's kitchen carpet the best. He said it was too bad I didn't like this tan (as he pointed to it) because he had a whole roll left over from a project. Well, I did like that tan color, and we will replace what's in the kitchen as well.

The soldiers also took it upon themselves to have a raffle for a Wal-Mart gift card in just the right amount to purchase a gun. That will raise more money for the renovations.

Someone came out to the house to look around and handed me money for the expenses. All of this money has been spent on supplies (purchased and rented when possible), fuel for the soldiers (they drive their own vehicles), and food for the soldiers. These guys are AMAZING. One of them thanked me for the opportunity. Words seem small at times like these. "Thank you" seems pretty weak.

Over and over and over again it has happened that someone steps up with, I can do that, I can help with that, I have one of those you can have. You can borrow mine; pick up the phone and let me know what you need. Tell me what I can do to help, and the offers go on and on. It has been an amazing project. I only pray and make phone calls. I do believe in Devine intervention... and in miracles.

Sunday 11-7-10

This past Friday 11/5, three soldiers met me at dad's again. I restocked the groceries and went to Mansfield Building Supply to purchase a few more supplies and to discuss carpeting. The owner, Mike, has some left over carpet from a job he did in another town and that's what we're going to use. I had to leave Mansfield by 4:00 pm to make it to Springfield in time for Malerie's basketball game. She is 10 and just started playing this year, and she loves it.

We spend the night at my in-laws in Springfield to reduce travel time, because Saturday morning before 7:00 am, Alan and I both had to be on the road again. I headed toward Windermere. I am involved in our women's ministries at church, and I teach during our women's retreat. It was a good time, and I was able to take time to prepare for the teaching. Our entire retreat was about how we waste so much mental energy thinking about the "what if's" in life -- that usually NEVER take place. "What if" this and what if that.... We cannot live life in the What ifs. We also waste time with the "if only's" about the past. If only I had done this or that.... It is futile. God is in control. He is Sovereign, and He is still on His throne. He will do or allow into our lives whatever He wants, and nothing surprises Him... Nothing.

The soldiers finished the retaining wall at dad’s house on Saturday evening. They also “planted” a pier (a 5x5 treated post) 3 feet into the ground with cement under the deck. They will be there tomorrow to pull the deck back up to the house. These two things are repairs that really needed to happen.

The bathroom is still down to the studs and going more slowly than I had hoped. They have the plans in place and the supplies to finish that, but the soldier who is driving that project hasn’t been there the past 2 weekends. He spent 11 years in construction before enlisting, so he knows what he’s doing, which gives me a wonderful peace of mind.

They will take off next weekend because a couple of them are going on a hunting trip. They are a wonderful blessing to me, and they are donating their time, energy, and expertise on their days off. I do not know how I will ever be able to thank them enough.

Today soldiers are at dad’s house working. They were there Friday and Saturday. They took off Sunday, which was a nice break for everyone. Today they had off because there hadn’t been any fatalities on the base for X number of days. Not sure how many days that is, but it’s a reminder of what they deal with. Friday night 2 of them stayed at dad’s. I asked where they would sleep – they said in their sleeping bags. I said, “But it’s filthy in here.” Sgt. Feick answered, “It’s better than the desert.” Wow… Okay… perspective.

They have been amazing! Today they are working to hang sheet rock in the bathroom and to build back the retaining wall. Saturday we rented and they used a lazer/site thing to measure the grade of the slopes for the sidewalk. Sgt. Feick had done research and knew what the slope needed to be to be safe for a wheelchair ramp.

THANK YOU to those who have helped financially with the renovations and for the prayers and words of encouragement.

Today I hired (tentatively) care givers. I still need to check references for the 2 women I have interviewed. Dad was involved in the interviews. They have experience with in-home care and have done it for several years. They both love to cook and bake.

Things are moving along very nicely, but slower than I had hoped. It is a construction project, though. They are kind of that way, I guess. I have pictures on my camera and will try to get them posted soon.

I appreciate your support.

Monday 10/25/10

Monday I interviewed two potential care-givers for dad. He sat in on the interview and listened, mostly. I asked questions for about an hour. I currently work as the recruiter for the software company where I work, so interviewing is something I have some experience with. I prefer the behavioral questions. Some I asked Monday were, Why do you prefer in-home care over a nursing facility? Tell me about a time you had to deal with an emergency. Tell me about a time you had a conflict with another person. Tell me about a time someone was not happy with your work (warranted or unwarranted); how did you handle that? And on and on they went. They both like to cook and bake. :) Dad just wants a hamburger patty and macaroni & cheese. One asked him, "Velveeta or Kraft?" He answered, "Kraft." I suspect it will be one of the first meals he has when he gets home.


These people have both done in-home care for years, and I will be able to visit with family members (references) of those they cared for. (On my to-do list.)

There are also individuals interested in helping with this, but I don't think I can handle the schedule. I need someone else to handle sick days and rescheduling and substitutes. I will visit with those interested, just to make sure I investigate all options.



I also phoned the Bank of Mansfield to set up any receiving of donations.

And, tonight, I am working on a project that's due tomorrow for a class I'm taking right now. I'm under the gun and paragraphs are not forming yet -- shoot! Sections aren't forming yet. :)

Thank you for reading -- and for your support and prayers for dad.

Sunday 10-24-10

Today the soldiers showed up at 9:30 am. It did not rain on Saturday or on Sunday like the forecast promised. They didn't stay as long today because they really needed to see family some this weekend.

I didn't stay long today either; Alan was there with them, working around dad's pond, cleaning brush. Yesterday he needed some fence fixed and mentioned it to one of dad's friends who had just stopped by. The friend stayed to help. The fence got fixed.

Today was Malerie's 10th birthday. Mother brought her and Allison to Springfield and we had Malerie's party at Incredible Pizza. I know Malerie was worried that her birthday might not be all she had hoped with all of the work going on, but she told me tonight it was a great birthday. :)

Everyone has been so generous. This weekend, the new door got installed to the bedroom, the electrical is figured out in the bathroom, the hill has been leveled some, and they dug out around the retaining wall that needs to be fixed (with just shovels and hard work).

I have phone calls to make, materials to purchase, equipment (handicapped) for the home that I need to check on, and etc. before next weekend, when we will do this all again. Interviews for caregivers begin tomorrow (during my lunch hour). We will work through an organization for this need.

Despite what was reported on the news, this is not a one-weekend project. I will keep you posted, and I will try to upload pictures as we go.

Soldiers Begin Work

The soldiers arrived at dad's at 7:30 am. They brought a lot of food with them. A grocery store in Richland, Evan's Grocery story or Evan's Market (I'm not sure) donated food for the volunteers to eat while they were working on Saturday. They sent hot dogs and brats and hamburgers with buns and chips and potato salad. After they were busy working, and I had made the coffee, I was going to go into town to get donuts for everyone. I learned that Evan's had also sent donuts. Weldon Evans is the owner. Thank you, Mr. Evans.

Also, someone who knew about the renovation heard me say in a conversation we needed a skid loader. She just happened to know the person who owns Wildcat Rental in Rogersville, so she gave him a call. He agreed to LOAN (not rent) the skid loader for Saturday and Sunday. There were about 18 soldiers who came to help. A couple of them brought friends, but the rest of them were away from their families on their days off. Thank you for your help, Wildcat Rental! Someone donated the use of their truck to pull the skid loader, and a motorcycle group that I do not know the name of yet donated cash.

Even before they knew of this, Se-Ma-No Golf Tournament donated money to help with his care. Thank you for coordinating that, Steve Anderson.

I was NOT aware that this was going be publicized, but the PR Sergeant from Ft. Wood showed up to be there for when the media showed up. She told me that KY3 from Springfield was on their way. They interviewed me, Sgt. Feick, and another soldier.

To watch that newsclip: http://www.ky3.com/news/ky3-story-homemakover-102310,0,1501414.story

The soldiers are volunteering their time, labor, and expertise, but dad is paying for the matierals. If we can get the project fully funded, we will be able to have that money to keep him home longer. If you would like to make a donation, please send it in dad's name (Wright Bogart) to The Bank of Mansfield, Mansfield,MO 65704.

Thank you so much!

Deconstruction Begins

Renovations began this past Friday. Three soldiers came from Ft. Wood to begin the project. There was a lot of deconstruction that had to happen before the rebuilding could begin. The soldier in charge of the construction worked in construction for eleven years before joining the Army. He isn't simply there to volunteer his labor, but his expertise as well.

They planned to be back on Saturday morning at 7:30 am.

The Soldiers, The Project

When I sent out that e-mail to all of dad's friends, one person came back with a suggestion. He thought he had heard that the soldiers at Ft. Leonard Wood near Waynesville would do a home renovation for a disabled veteran. Byron called a contact there and made initial introductions, and I called later. We talked about what renovations might be done to the house, when dad served in the Army, and what next steps might be.

From there, it was about 2 months later before anyone came to the house to assess the situation to see if they could even help. They were very positive from the beginning. They took a lot of pictures, measurements, and notes.

Much planning went into the project. Sergeant Feick is the person who finally took ownership of the project to make it happen. He created a detailed materials list complete with prices. He is very conscious about costs and has been very careful about spending.

The soldiers will gut the bathroom and make it handicapped accessible. They will also put a different door to his bedroom so his wheelchair can fit through it. We also need to replace carpeting to make it a low pile so dad's wheelchair can maneuver throughe the house. They also level off a hill and put in ramps for him to be abel to get to the front door. One project they also agreed to has nothing to do with the accessibility of the house, but the retaining wall is leaning and is attached to the deck. It is pulling the deck away from the house and causing damage. They will fix that as well.

The Beginning

At the age of 66, dad had a major hemorrhagic stroke. He lived alone in a small house in the woods, and led a private life, for the most part. When he had his stroke, no one knew he needed help for about 36 hours. Some employees from Se-Ma-No and other friends there to help literally broke a window out in his home to get to him and then called the ambulance. He spent all of December 2009 in St. John's Hospital.

The damage done to his body is severe, but that is not true of his brain. Even while he was in the ICU for 7 days, he was putting names with dates and remembering stories. He can talk; he can feed himself; he was able to swallow again after about three weeks, and they took out the feeding tube. He can feed himself. He cannot use his left arm or hand, and he cannot walk on his own or for very many steps at once; he lost his sense of balance so someone has to be with him all the time.

When it was time for him to be discharged from the hospital, he could not go home. He needed 24/7 care, so he was taken to Parkview in Bolivar, MO. There, he was in, what they call, a Medicare bed to receive therapy and to get well enough to go home. After the allotted 90 days, he still was not well enough to go home. He was moved to the long-term care wing, and he sobbed for three weeks. It was devastating.


Of course, who would plan this for their life? No one. To add to the sadness, is the fact that he was a very healthy man. He was active, walked 3 miles every day he could, made sure he ate well, and he drank the "right" amount of water. He controlled his cholesterol with his diet, didn't smoke, took vitamins, and saw his physician when we was supposed to. He did have atrial fibrillation, but the stroke was a bleed in the brain, not a clot like AFib might cause. Nothing made sense.


He was getting ready to retire and he wanted to golf every day he could and do some traveling. Instead, he sat in a wheelchair, waiting for someone to take him to the dining room for meals, waiting for someone to help him in the bathroom.


The facility he is in is nice; the workers are caring, many of them there because they love their job and the people they work with every day. However, dad is miserable. He is so profoundly depressed and sad. While I was sitting with him on Father's Day this year, he asked me... "So, are we on a contract here or do we pay by the month?"

I replied: "I pay each month." He mumbled under his breath, "Okay, one more month."

I said: "What do you mean?" He looked at me and said, "I want to go home." I asked him, "how do you think we can do that?" He had some ideas: "Well, I don't know, but there are people who do that kind of thing, who live with people and take care of them. I can't do this much longer. It's getting bad."


I told him I would make some phone calls and see what I could learn. First I sent an e-mail out to dad's friends who I know best. Many of them I met during his stay in the hospital.


When I sent the e-mail out to Dad's friends, one of those people asked me if she could forward it on to others. I told her that was perfectly fine with me... so she did. And the response was absolutely amazing! I got e-mails from all over southwest Missouri from people I had never heard of. Sharing ideas, offering help, telling me about things to consider. It was Amazing!